I nearly spat out my coffee this morning. The first batch of World Cup 2026 tickets just dropped, and holy moly, some packages cost more than my entire annual salary. We're talking £55,000 ($73,200) for the priciest options! That's not a typo, folks. Fifty-five THOUSAND pounds to watch some blokes kick a ball around.

The tournament's being hosted across the USA, Canada and Mexico, but unsurprisingly, it's the American venues where they're really taking the piss with these prices. My mate Dave (who's been saving for this since Russia 2018) just texted me: "Guess I'll be selling a kidney then." Poor Dave.

Your wallet's worst nightmare

So here's teh deal - 11 US cities are hosting matches, and almost all of them are flogging these eight-match package deals where you get to watch every game played in that particular city. Dallas is the exception with nine matches on offer.

New York/New Jersey is where they're really gouging fans. Why? Because the MetLife Stadium hosts the final. Even the "cheap" eight-match package there starts at £19,282 ($25,800). I could buy a decent car for that! Or pay off a chunk of my mortgage. Or... you know... eat for a year.

Where to go if you're merely very rich (not obscenely wealthy)

If you're on a "budget" (and I use that term extremely loosely), head to San Francisco. Their eight-match bundle will only set you back £6,184 ($8,275). Only!

Back in 2019, I spent about £2,000 following England through the Women's World Cup in France - hotels, tickets, trains, beer, the lot. And I thought that was extravagant. This is another universe of expensive.

The "normal person" options

There's also this U.S. Four-Match Series thing where you can pick games across different venues. But there's a catch...

You're restricted to Monday-Thursday matches. Because heaven forbid the weekend games be affordable for regular humans. Oh, and you can't see the US team's opening match either. Obviously.

Listen. I get that World Cup tickets are never cheap. But this feels different.

What do these eye-watering prices actually get you?

For your mortgage-sized payment, you'll get access to fancy seating options - private suites, pitchside lounges and other shared spaces where you can network with fellow members of the 1%.

There's also something called the "Fifa Pavilion" as part of the Follow My Team Series. It's supposedly an "exclusive retreat" next to stadiums with pre and post-match hospitality. Probably has champagne on tap and seats made of clouds or something.

This Follow My Team package lets you see all your nation's group stage games, starting at £5,612 ($6,600). Which suddenly seems like a bargain compared to the other prices. What a world we live in.

What about... you know... regular tickets?

According to The Athletic, normal tickets will average around £260 ($305) for early stage matches. Still not exactly pocket change, but at least in the realm of possibility for those of us who didn't invest in Bitcoin in 2010.

I remember paying £80 for a group stage match at Euro 2016. That felt expensive at the time. Now it seems quaint, like when your grandparents tell you they bought their house for £5,000.

Football truly is becoming the playground of the wealthy. And for a tournament that's supposed to bring people together... well, it's hard not to feel a bit left out.