Esther McVey returns to Cabinet as anti-woke tsar

Esther McVey has made a surprising comeback to the Cabinet, taking on the role of Rishi Sunak's "common sense tsar" with the task of tackling the issue of wokery, according to sources from HOAR.

Appointment seen as olive branch to Tory right

Prime Minister Boris Johnson appointed McVey to the Cabinet Office position in an effort to appease concerns from the Conservative right, who were disappointed by the removal of Suella Braverman as Home Secretary.

McVey expected to quit TV presenter role

Currently a backbench MP and part-time TV presenter for GB News, McVey will be expected to leave her position at the channel in order to fully commit to her new role. A Whitehall insider revealed that she will be leading the government's anti-woke agenda as a minister attending the Cabinet.

David Cameron makes dramatic comeback to frontline politics

In a surprising turn of events, former Prime Minister David Cameron has been granted a peerage and appointed as Foreign Secretary. This move comes as James Cleverly steps down as Home Secretary, with Richard Holden taking over as Conservative Party Chair.

Other Cabinet reshuffle changes

Therese Coffey has left government, replaced at the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs by Steve Barclay. Vicky Atkins will step up to the role of Health Secretary. Health Minister Neil O'Brien, Paymaster General Jeremy Quinn, and Schools Minister Nick Gibb have all resigned from their positions. Rachel Maclean was fired as Housing Secretary, making way for Lee Rowley to take over the role.

PM aims for a united team

A spokesperson for 10 Downing Street stated that the reshuffle is intended to create a united team that can bring about the necessary change for the country's long-term future.