Alright, I need to talk about Royal Tunbridge Wells. I just got back from the most unexpectedly delightful weekend there, and I'm still buzzing about it. Kent has always been on my radar, but this place? It's something else entirely.

Garrington Property Finders recently ranked it as the 17th best place to live in the UK, which initially made me roll my eyes. I mean, who actually trusts these lists? But after spending 48 hours wandering around, I'm starting to think they might be onto something.

The "Royal" Part Isn't Just For Show

Did you know that only THREE towns in England can officially use "Royal" in their name? Tunbridge Wells got the royal stamp of approval back in 1909 from King Edward VII because apparently, the royals couldn't get enough of the place. Most locals still just call it Tunbridge Wells though - the "Royal" part feels a bit fancy for everyday use.

I texted my history-buff friend about this fact and his response: "And yet they still have a Wetherspoons like everyone else."

Wait... Is This Actually the Grandest Wetherspoons in Britain?

Speaking of which. LISTEN. This isn't just any Wetherspoons. It's housed in an actual opera house from 1902!

I've had my fair share of £3.19 pints in various 'Spoons around the country, but sipping a gin and tonic under crystal chandeliers while sitting ON THE ACTUAL STAGE of a former opera house? That's a new one. The opera boxes still line the walls, and I spent way too long imagining the performances that must have happened there. My partner got annoyed because I kept dramatically whispering "The phantom of the Wetherspoons" whenever he went to order another round.

Once a year they actually host a real opera performance. Mark that on my calendar for next time.

The Pantiles: Where I Dropped $200 I Definitely Didn't Plan To Spend

The most charming part of town has to be The Pantiles - this Georgian colonnade that used to be called 'The Walks' (boring) and then 'The Parade' (slightly less boring). Now it's lined with independent shops that absolutely destroyed my budget for teh month. There was this tiny jewelry boutique where I found the most perfect pair of earrings... and then a gallery where I convinced myself I "needed" a print for my hallway.

God. My credit card is still recovering.

The whole area apparently developed after they discovered a spring in 1606. The water is packed with iron, magnesium, and other minerals that people used to drink for health reasons. You can still try it today - they have a person called a "dipper" who serves it up in traditional style.

I Drank the Magic Water and Regretted It Immediately

Let me save you some trouble. That fancy mineral water? Tastes like you're licking a rusty pipe. I feel stupid now, but when the dipper handed me the cup with such ceremony, I felt obligated to drink the whole thing with a smile. My friend took one sip and discreetly poured the rest into a nearby plant. (Sorry, plant.)

Back in 2018, I visited Bath and tried their famous spa water too. What is it with historic towns making tourists drink terrible water? Is this some kind of elaborate joke played on visitors that's been running for centuries?

Trains, Castles, and Wine – The Holy Trinity

If you're into trains (I'm not particularly, but my dad would LOSE HIS MIND), the Spa Valley Railway runs heritage trains through the countryside. They do these themed journeys – murder mysteries, fish and chip specials, and my personal favorite concept: the wine train that stops at local vineyards.

Speaking of wine... there are SIX vineyards surrounding Tunbridge Wells. Apparently the soil in this part of Kent is similar to the Champagne region in France. Who knew? Not me, until I ended up at a wine tasting that was supposed to be "just one glass" and turned into a three-hour affair where I learned more about soil composition than I ever wanted to know.

I also visited Scotney Castle, which sits on its own moated island like something straight out of a fairytale. The ruins are incredibly atmospheric – I kept imagining what it must have been like to live there hundreds of years ago, probably drinking that awful mineral water and thinking it was curing their ailments.

The Surprising Folkestone Connection

While chatting with locals, I kept hearing about Folkestone – another Kent town that's apparently having a moment. Time Out just named it their top UK destination for 2025, calling it a "top-tier seaside spot."

One bartender told me they're reopening the Leas Lift there – one of the UK's last funicular railways that connects the clifftop to the beach. It's been closed since 2017, but should be running again soon. "Worth the day trip," he insisted, while mixing what was definitely not my first cocktail of the evening.

Getting There (When You Eventually Go, Which You Should)

Royal Tunbridge Wells is just 34 miles from London on the Hastings line. The train from Charing Cross takes about an hour, which makes it perfect for a weekend escape from the city.

I'm already planning my return trip. Maybe for that opera at Wetherspoons... or more likely, for another round at those vineyards. My liver and wallet are begging me to reconsider, but some experiences are worth the pain.