Bloody hell. The FA strikes again with their rulebook nonsense. A tiny Cornwall football club just got their knickers in a twist after being forced to ditch their new kit because it was sponsored by an OnlyFans star. I'm not even joking.

Calstock FC thought they'd struck gold when adult content creator Bonnie Blue offered to bankroll their new away kit. Let's be honest - when you're scraping by in non-league, you take what you can get. Money's money, right?

The kit that broke the internet (and the FA's patience)

The shirts looked decent enough - a blue number with "BB" emblazoned on the front. Nothing explicit, mind you. Just initials. They even had "Up The Bonnie Blue Bees" printed across the back, which I actually found pretty clever. My mate Dave thought it was hilarious when I showed him a pic. His response: "Your football club would never."

But then the FA stepped in.

According to Calstock, the governing body's "interpretation of regulations" meant teh kit had to go. Notice they didn't actually specify WHICH regulation... typical bureaucratic vagueness. I spent 45 minutes scrolling through the FA handbook back in 2021 for a similar situation at my local club and nearly lost my mind.

Who is this Bonnie person anyway?

If you've somehow missed the headlines (lucky you), Bonnie Blue - real name Tia Emma Billinger - is that 25-year-old OnlyFans creator from Nottinghamshire who claimed to have slept with over 1,000 men in 12 hours. Yeah. Do the math on that one.

She's been making waves recently. Got herself banned from Nottingham Forest's City Ground after advertising some kind of "entertainment" for fans before a match.

Her explanation on the Only Stans podcast was... interesting.

"I thought when they asked me to go to the side, 'maybe they're upgrading my tickets, maybe they want to escort me to my seat, this is quite nice, it's a good service'," she said.

Wait... did she seriously just say that?

Apparently they confiscated her tickets and showed her the door. She claims they "don't discriminate against sex workers" but banned her "because I was a sex worker." Make it make sense.

Her justification was even better: "I was going to encourage them (the players), give them a good time. I also think if I'm entertaining the supporters it's less people drinking so I'm actually doing something good for their health."

Oh Bonnie. That's... not how public health initiatives usually work.

The aftermath: passing around the digital hat

Poor Calstock are now stuck without a sponsor and presumably out of pocket. They've had to launch a GoFundMe to replace the banned shirts. I feel for them - grassroots football runs on fumes and goodwill as it is.

In their statement (which reads like it was written by someone sweating bullets), they insisted: "We did not do this to offend. We, as an adult club and collective, categorically do not advocate or support the oppression of women."

Look, I've been covering local football since 2018, and I've seen clubs sponsored by everything from dodgy betting sites to pubs with questionable reputations. The hypocrisy stinks.

Would anyone have batted an eyelid if the sponsor was a bookmaker encouraging gambling addiction? Doubt it.

Sometimes I wonder if the FA just spins a wheel of misfortune to decide which small club to hassle each week.

The social media circus

Twitter (sorry, "X" - still can't get used to that) went into meltdown, obviously. Half the comments were pearl-clutching outrage, the other half asking where they could buy one of the shirts.

I texted my cousin who collects "controversial" football memorabilia - he's already trying to track one down. These banned shirts always end up worth a fortune. Remember that Fiorentina away kit from the 90s with the accidental swastikas? Sells for £400+ now.

Honestly though? The whole thing is just exhausting.

For what it's worth, I reckon Calstock should've just covered the logo with tape and carried on. What's the FA gonna do - send inspectors to every match in the Cornish football pyramid?

Actually... don't answer that.